


But If I Had?

by NicoAndTheNineGalaxies



Series: Vent Fics [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies/pseuds/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies
Summary: “But if I had?”“...What?”“If I had loved you, would that have changed anything?”A triggering, angsty one-shot I wrote.





	But If I Had?

**Author's Note:**

> Very short. Very angsty.  
> I don't know why I wrote this. I was feeling fine today, but then it just...stopped. I don't know. This happens sometimes. I'll be fine, probably.
> 
> TW for a suicide attempt, cursing, and implied self-harm.
> 
> Galaxy ||-//

“Why are you even here?”

“I love you, Virge,” Roman replied, as though the answer was obvious.  “You almost died. I was scared.”

“You never really loved me,” Virgil said accusingly, turning away from Roman in his hospital bed.

“Maybe not,” Roman admitted, regret edging into his tone.  “Maybe I never loved you. Maybe I was trying to convince myself as much as everyone else.  We’re too different; you said it yourself when I asked you out, remember?”

A sob escaped the boy on the bed.  “We weren’t going to work, I know,” he said, voice thick with tears, “but I thought...I thought maybe we could somehow  _ make _ it work.”

Roman hummed in agreement.  “But if I had?”

“...What?”

“If I  _ had _ loved you, would that have changed anything?”

“I-I don’t - what do you mean?”

“Even if I loved you, you still would’ve ended up here.  It’s not like my love could’ve dulled your fucking razor blade.”

“And it’s not like mine dulled yours.”

Roman didn’t quite laugh.  It was more a soft exhale and the corner of his mouth quirking up, just for a moment.  “I guess not, huh?”

“And I really  _ did _ love you, Roman.  So, so much.”

“Love,” Roman scoffed.  “More trouble than it’s worth.”

A long, long pause.

“So we’re in agreement?” Roman asked.  “This didn’t work, and there’s no hope that it ever will?”

Virgil exhaled slowly as he nodded.

Roman stood and patted his shoulder.  “See you around, Virge.”

And that was it.

All Virgil was left with were the slits in his wrists and the ghost of Roman’s touch.


End file.
